I've heard it before, and you've heard it too. Family courts favor moms. The truth is that decisions often do favor moms, especially unmarried moms. There are ways to improve your situation with the courts as an unmarried dad.
- Sign the Recognition of Parentage.
This document is provided to parents at the hospital, and is the easiest way to establish paternity. Sign the ROP when you are sure you are the father, because undoing an ROP is not as easy as signing one. If you are not present at the hospital when the child is born you can get the form at: DHS
- Be an active father
Get parenting time. The more court ordered parenting time you have the lower your child support obligation, but that's not the only reason. Being an active parent is awarding in other ways. As an active dad, child support obligations decrease when you have at least 10% parenting time and even more at 45% parenting time. If you and the mom split parenting time at the 45% level, you could collect support if the mom earned more than you.
If you had the child 56% of the time, you would be the parent receiving the child support, even if you earned more.
- Keep records
It's okay to keep agreements between you and the mom, but keep records to protect yourself. Did you buy a crib, formula, or diapers? Keep those receipts. Do you send money to the other parent each month? Create a paper trail and never pay in cash.
If a mom decides to take a dad to court for arrears (back child support) and dad did not keep records, mom will get the court to order dad to make the payments all over again.
Keeping records is important if the parents agree on how to divide time with the kids, too. Keep a calendar to keep track of your parenting time in case you are hauled into court. Keeping records is good, but records are never as much protection as a court order.
- File a Stipulation or a Petition
The less expensive route is to file a stipulation (or agreement) on the issues with the court. You and the other parent can reach an agreement, get the agreement drafted, and file it. If you have good rapport with the other parent, you can get them to split the attorney and the filing fees.
Having a pleasant relationship with the other parent will allow you to get way better outcomes than attempting to crush them in court. Unless you have some indisputable evidence that their parenting is seriously hurting your child, fighting over custody is a big gamble.
If the other parent will not agree, right away, you can bring them to court. Most Minnesota family law judges will require you to mediate, and the vast majority of cases are settled through a Social Early Neutral Evaluation (a special kind of mediation).
If you have more questions you can call Stacey Keenan, Attorney at Law at 651-357-1882. Visit our website at: www.keenanlegalmn.com
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